Finals: Day One

You know the feeling you get when you wake up and realize that today you have to make a presentation in front of 15 executives? Or 5 minutes before you walk in to a job interview? Well, take that feeling, multiply in by 10,000, and that is me today.

You see, tonight at 6:00, I embark on the final leg of my journey through the first year of law school, and what better way to start things off than with a Contracts final that contributes to no less than 80% of my grade. And I thought the midterm was a monster...pshhh. I would give anything to take that midterm again.

As my friend MC and I were discussing various contract theories such as the doctrine of promissory estoppel, the necessity for the statute of frauds, and a party's options following anticipatory repudiation (don't I sound smart?), we both realized that we have come a LONG way since that 10th day in August when we sat in the auditorium as mere peons before our professors...when we didn't even know what a "tort" was...when the concept of unjust enrichment seemed too difficult to ever grasp...when the road toward second year was set before us - winding, rough, and...okay, you get the point.

Well, it was on this fateful day that MC and I also assumed the role of fashionistas of the 1L class. That's right, ladies (and gentlemen?) we have the highly esteemed (self-appointed) honor of being the law school fashion police, and believe me...it is NOT an easy job. To make my case, I offer up evidence of the fashion felonies that we witness on a daily basis.

A "quiet" day for the fashion police consists of the perpetration of various misdemeanors such as wearing white linen pants after Labor Day (we issued multiple citations for this one), toting zebra print bags while donning leopard print tops (I detest mixing and matching animal prints), etc.

However, on those raucous days when the 1L's become a little too expressive, MC and I have a full docket. We witness lace mixed with neon, floral prints that look like your grandma's curtains reincarnated, Japanese cartoon logos, and the list goes on. Not to mention the trucker hats and man purses that infest the classrooms like the sketchballs fill the courthouse on order of protection day. Honestly, I wouldn't put anything past these fashion felons.

Don't you worry though...out of the kindness of our hearts, MC and I offer free fashion advice to those multiple offenders who are plagued by colorblind-ness, mis-match disorder, and a sheer lack of taste. We even bestow good graces upon those who commit intentional crimes of fashion with the requisite mental culpability.

Please do not mistake our kidness as a lack of care. While we prefer to stay away from retribution, we will always offer what I like to think of as "Fashion Rehab" where we introduce these multiple offenders to foreign concepts such as "simple is best," "go easy on the plaid," "polka dots in moderation", and many others.

Bottom line: with such a great injustice at stake in the fashion world, we are just doing our job the best we know how. Who else is going to make sure that higher education and fashion are not mutually exclusive?